The holiday season is often marked with joy, cheer, kindness, and a general warmth. Decorations sparkle, fireplaces and candles are aflame, and hot chocolate is made. At least, that’s the generic presentation. Yet, for many, the holiday season is a point of stress in their life. Financial hardship, extended time with family members, religious strife, and illness are just some of the reasons stress increases in a person’s life. So how do you navigate it all?
When faced with financial hardships, you may feel pressure to give gifts knowing it could exceed your budget. Remember though, that gifts are not the only way to express love to those around you. Quality time or acts of service are nice alternatives to gift giving. Schedule a holiday themed get-together potluck style so you don’t have to worry about preparing an elaborate feast. Take your friends or family to local holiday events (remember that some of them are free). However, if you want to give gifts, love can be found in the small details; gifts do not have to be elaborate. Take your book loving friend to Atlanta Vintage Books to visit some cats and buy a well-loved used book. If you have a craft, make something for your friends/family. One of my favorite gifts is a hand-knitted blanket. There are many creative ways to gift without it being expensive. What makes gift-giving special is the thought and care in which the gift is given, not the amount or price.
For many families, being around each other can add stress. You are packed into a home or hotel or restaurant with each other and their accompanying annoying behaviors. Unfortunately, you or your family may have toxic traits, which increases tension and strife. Here are five tips to navigate this time:
- Create and stick to your boundaries.
- Establish what you need your boundaries to be before you see your family. This may look like staying for a short period of time. Not engaging in toxic behaviors. For example, if you know you have different views of politics than your uncle, stay away from political talk. Do not hug or kiss people if you do not wish. Assertively communicate your boundaries and let people know if they cross them.
- Practice coping skills.
- Coping skills are used to regulate emotions. If you feel heightened emotions, step away, practice breathing techniques or mindfulness. Jot down some mantras or helpful phrases. Whatever coping skills you find helpful, practice them before you meet your family, and use them.
- Focus on internal locus of control
- Remember that the only thing you can control is yourself. You cannot control how other people feel or behave. Empower yourself with this knowledge. Allow yourself to let control of the external world go. You are not responsible for the actions or feelings of others, only your actions and feelings. This can be liberating, but it does take time and practice.
- Rely on support from your “allies”
- If you have a sister, mom, cousin, etc. that you are close with. Use them for support. You do not have to force yourself to stay with the people that cause the most stress. Remember, we also get to choose our family. It does not have to be blood relatives. Rely on your support system, too. With them, you are not alone.
- Think about the narrative of you and your family.
- What role do you think you fall into in your family? What about other family members? Do you want to change your role? Perhaps reframing how you think about you and your family can relieve stress. Try creating a new viewpoint or experience. You do not have to stay stuck; you and your family can grow.
May you find that this holiday season is less stressful and filled with more joy and merriment.
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