One of the most important parts of love: forgiveness

In the midst of commercials for expensive jewelry, flowers and candy, let’s talk about real love. Love is a much more complex animal than gifts and dates. Love requires forgiveness to survive; forgiveness of self and transgressions big and small. Let’s look at forgiveness – who it is for and what it really means.

Forgiveness is part of the healing process and a letting go of resentment, hatred or self-pity that grips us. Forgiveness is accepting that punishment and resentment will not heal us. It will not erase a wrong. Resentment and a desire to punish only chains us to the event.

What Forgiveness is not:

• It is not forgetting.
• It is not condoning.
• Forgiveness is not absolution.
• It is not a one-time decision.
• Forgiveness is not really even for the offender. It is for you.

Large or small, offenses wear away at our ability to trust and to love. We will be hurt again even if we forgive. Our life was not going to be “perfect” even if this particular event had never happened. Forgiveness is a choice. It can be a new and scary process to even think about embarking on, but the opportunity for more joy and love make it worth it.